Dating Tips in the Modern Age

Dating in Modern Age

Growing up, we grow used to a fairy tale ending. Boy (preferably a prince) meets girl (obviously a princess), they fall in love, and live happily ever after. Blame it on what you like, but that’s not how dating goes these days. Whether it’s from friends, family, or complete strangers, it seems as though there’s an endless supply of dating tips out there. Here are some of the easiest to adopt dating tips that just might help you find that Mr. or Miss Right.

First off, be yourself. I know this sounds cheesy and easier said than done, but it’s the cardinal rule of dating tips. Honesty is often considered the cornerstone of any good relationship, but being honest about who you are is the foundation beneath it. A friend of mine recently found herself in a position where she had nothing left to lose. She had an awful job, a ton of debt, and was considering moving home. She wasn’t looking to meet anyone, but a guy she ran into on a regular basis asked her out for a drink. Because she had no reason to hide anything, and believing the date wasn’t going to result in anything further, she was 100% frank about everything in her life. The result? The guy found her honesty refreshing, an insisted on continuing to see her. Honesty pays.

Searching to no avail? Stop looking. If you’re anything like me, this may sound laughable at first, but looking for that special someone often limits our ability to find them. It’s one of the hardest dating tips to follow, but it’s important. This dating tip does make a lot of sense when you think about it, though. Remember the last time you couldn’t find something as you were running out the door, but in the process of your search, you found everything you didn’t need? We’ve all been there, and it’s the same thing with love. If you’re looking too hard, you may find yourself manufacturing qualities in others and spinning justifications because you WANT to find what you’re looking for- not because you actually have. If you stop looking, you’re more likely to be surprised, and take notice, when it shows up.

It may seem obvious, but have an open mind. This is one of those dating tips that goes against every romantic comedy you’ve ever seen, but is realistic. The dating show Tough Love on MTV encounters women all the time that have a “checklist” of sorts- a list of qualities they’re looking for in a man. Even the experts on the show hand out the same dating tip: ditch the list. So what if the guy on your list doesn’t make six figures right now? That doesn’t mean he won’t in the future, and money really is NOT everything. The girl you’re talking to isn’t the DD fantasy you hand in mind? Too bad, because she could be the one woman who finally GETS your sense of humor. Stop setting strict expectations, and enjoy the moment. You might be surprised where it gets you.

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Posted by admin - April 3, 2016 at 2:33 pm

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21st Century Teen Dating Relationship

teen dating relationship

You may recall seeing the old re-runs of ‘Ozzie and Harriet’ or ‘Leave it to Beaver’, where parents of dating teens always – always – met the young man or woman their child was going out on a date with, before the date ever happened. Here are a few examples of the 1950s ‘rules’ of a dating relationship. The young man of the 1950s would never leave his date standing on a corner, to make her own way home. He wouldn’t dream of using foul language in front of his date. Girls were supposed to wait for the young man to come around and open the car door, she expected a corsage to wear to the prom and she’d drop dead before she phoned him first!

Well, times have changed, radically. Agreed, the 1950s era ‘rules’ of dating relationships do smack of an overly prissy and formal approach, tending to stifle the natural exuberance and authenticity of the young. On the other hand, the pendulum has perhaps swung too far in the opposite direction today.

Let’s see if we can’t put a realistic face on the 21st century dating relationship. After all, what’s the point of dating? Young men and women want to meet people, whose company they enjoy and just have a good time.

The ‘rules’ imposed back in the day were intended to keep teens safe and on the straight and narrow path to eventual matrimony. Dating relationships between adults had much the same objectives, with an emphasis on etiquette being satisfactorily and properly performed. What’s missing from this pat formula? Spontaneity! This was the dreaded ingredient. Too much room for out-of-the-box thinking which might well crush Miss Manners’ guidebook on proper behavior.

Establishing a realistic set of ‘rules’ for modern dating requires that we not throw the baby out with the bath water. The custom of meeting your child’s date is practical and prudent. Insisting that the boy endure a grilling comparable to the Spanish Inquisition is not fair, nor practical.

So what constitutes a good dating relationship? Some values never go out of style, despite Miss Manner’s immovable precepts. Adults and kids alike can agree that mutual respect, honesty and integrity are at the core of a healthy dating relationship. As a parent and adult, you can easily size up that teen’s basic character, provided you do not bias your thinking, based on the 1950s model. Your child, too, will be capable of making this assessment.

You’ve spent more than a decade plus, instilling your kids with guidelines on judging right from wrong, potential dangers and the consequences of their actions. Now it’s time to give over that trust and allow them some freedom. Scary, huh?

However, if you’ve taught them, they will see the signatures of a bad dating relationship immediately.

Dating today has a much looser definition than in times past. However, the modern dating relationship for teens hasn’t really changed so much. Kids want dating to be fun, while you want them to be safe. Isn’t that what Mrs. Cleaver was after?

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Posted by admin - April 3, 2016 at 3:21 am

Categories: Teen Dating Relationship   Tags: